Gimme some sugar...and shoot me up

Life has it's highs and lows...some we can control, and some we can't.

I learned a lot about appreciating both ends of the spectrum this weekend. I found myself among a sea of people who are all affected by type 1 diabetes--mainly children and their families. I saw my reflection in a beautiful twelve year old girl who was just beginning to reject her insulin and deny her disease. I know this response all too well; I lived this way on and off for several years.

I carry around so much guilt for neglecting to regulate my blood sugars and take my insulin, but as I talked to this girl and her mother, I saw a way to redeem myself through them. I felt a huge sense of joy as I spoke about my struggles and offered my advice. No child should ever put themselves through the same pain I put myself through. I hope to ease their minds and provide some hope as they meander their way through the highs and lows of growing up with diabetes.

To make things even better, I had the most powerful source of love and support standing to my right-- my boyfriend. Because of him I see my disease not as a flaw, but as source of strength, beauty, and inspiration. What a gift. He has given me so much in such a short amount of time. Most importantly, he introduced me to a beautiful world of hope and a feeling that I am not alone. He gives me a reason to wake up every morning, poke my little fingers, measure out my food, and give my damn 8 injections a day. He makes me want to keep trying even when I mess up...he won't let me mess up too badly :-)

I pray that everyone can find that someone who shakes them out of their misery and gives them something to live for. Until these special boys and girls with type 1 grow up and find in someone what I have found in Ryan, I want to provide as much support and knowledge as I can.

The Juvenile Diabetes Research foundation (http://www.jdrf.org/) is making great strides toward a cure and providing a wonderful support system for diabetic children and their families. I will soon be starting my internship with JDRF and hopefully working on a program that will allow my to reach out to these beautiful children on a regular basis. I hope that they will take me into their hearts so that I may use the pain of my past to perpetuate hope and joy in the lives of all those affected by this disease.

Gimme some sugar and hand me my insulin, I'm fighting for my health. We're taking this show on the road baby...shot by shot.

Resume Torpedos

Overcoming my fear of seeming like an underqualified delinquent to potential employers, I've begun to fire resumes and cover letters in all directions. The job hunt is on-- full force. I won't deny that I'm nervous. My worst fear is graduating college with no job and a ticket back to my parents house (not that I wouldn't love to live under your roof and be spoiled, mom and dad...I like old people).

After changing my mind countless times, I've decided to enter the world of social media and marketing. It's new, creative, and exciting-- it's the future of business and it feels right. I recently did two internships in broadcast news. I truly loved those internships, especially the time I spent at WVLT in Knoxville, TN. I gained a ton of experience and confidence, and met some inspirational people. As wonderful as my experiences were, I still wasn't sure I belonged in the news business. However, if we were still in the era of Ron Burgundy and the moustache, I'd be much more inclined to work in news and live an outrageously self-centered life as a news anchor.

I'm really hoping one of my resume torpedos is going to impress someone, somewhere. I don't have a Plan B at the moment because I refuse to think about myself failing at this right now. I'll make a Plan B in time, but if I have it my way,

my resume will smack a pretty cool person in the face, and they'll want some more :-)

COME HOME MARK CONSUELOS!!

I may be a little biased, but I have good reason to believe that my boyfriend resembles Kelly Ripa's piece of meat, Mark Conseulos. Feel free to comment on the likeness (or tell me how jealous you are)...but that's not the point of this post. I really want to share how EXCITED I am that Ryan is returning from three awfully long weeks in Japan! I fell for him fast and I've been missing him like crazy. It will be sooo nice to do trade in the 14 hour time difference and occasional Skype dates for the real thing. MONKEY!

I'll be heading out to the airport tonight for a very very special welcoming. Ryan deserves it. I've been videotaping the preparation for this very special day so look for the video post in the near future!


I got an amazing FlipCam Ultra HD for Christmas. I LOVE i and I will be putting it to good use. Keep your eyes open for my YouTube channel...........

Post-Christmas Fat. What now?

I love the holidays, I really do. However, the week or so following the celebrations can be quite a reality check. For instance, my pants are stretching in areas they did not stretch before. Yes, all the good food we ate with our families has now converted to bulging fat cells. Yum.

It doesn't get much better than good family and food for me, but at the end of the day I want to be healthy. I've had type 1 diabetes since I was seven years old. It's a humbling disease-- I need my insulin injections to live. Well, for over 2 years I was in denial, rarely giving my body the injections it so dearly needed. A slow suicide.

I am proud to say I have turned my life around. I've worked hard to get my health and body in good shape, even managing to reverse some damage! I'm not perfect though, and I struggle from day to day, and sometimes from meal to meal, shot to shot.

So I'll admit, my eating pattern was a little out of control over the holidays, and subsequently so was my blood sugar. Putting that behind me, I'm focusing on my

well-being so that I may live to give the love I promised to family, boyfriend, friends, and someday give all my love to my children.

WHOA...children?! Why am I talking about kids? I'm never one to talk about kids! Uh oh. That's a discussion for another post...another day...

Best of luck with your resolutions.

Happy New Year!!

green eyes, blonde hair, bubble butt

Sometimes it takes something like a new year, new relationship, tragedy, celebration, etc., for us to take a good look in the mirror and ask ourselves, "Who the hell am I???"

I found myself contemplating the answer to this question this morning as I stood in front of the mirror with smudged eyeliner and bad breath. I'm graduating college in a few months with some semblance of a plan, but is it right? Is it good enough? Am I good enough?

Who am I anyways? I mean, I think I know...but do I really? Can we ever really define our identities when we supposedly change and grow with each passing moment? Does it even matter?

Here's my theory: You don't have to know yourself inside and out. You simply need confidence and faith in the person you believe yourself to be, as well as the desire to continuously learn and grow. Success and happiness are sure to come your way.

Easier said than done, right? Yeah...well...I'm rollin' with this theory for a while. I'm bringing my inner rockstar to the forefront, living life as I choose. No definitions. No parameters. I might need a little encouragement on this journey, as we all know things don't always go our way.

So join me as I transition from college girl to BIG GIRL. I've got some big decisions to make and a few suprising secrets to reveal!!!

You ready?? 

Let's dance!